isnt it sad, how many people you lose in this lifetime
how people walk in and out of your life
but only true ones stay
how people just turn their backs on you and walk away from you
you think they’re real. you think that they’re friends that will be there for you.
but only true friends stick by you, through EVERYTHING, thick AND thin.
you think that everyone that you loved would always be there when they say they would.
and stick by you when they say they would.
but end up doing things that hurt you
and you never thought that they would do such things to you
but you’ll soon come to realise, true friends don’t do that
you can have thousands of friends
they make you happy, they make you laugh. they bring you happy memories.
but its hard to find the one true friend that would really stick by you through everything
be there for you when you need them
help you get back on your feet when you feel like you’re falling
motivate you with words when you feel like giving up.
when they said that they care, do they really care?
when they said all those things, did they really mean it?
god, remember all those happy memories. i miss those times.
memories just don’t last forever no matter how much you want it to.
happy happy ones.
and its sad how one slightest mistake can change a whole friendship
how one mistake that you did can cause you to lose someone
how day by day you start drifting apart from the ones you love
and in the end all you can say to each other is just a mere ‘hello’ or a smile when you see them.
how easy it is to forgive but so hard to forget.
how you try so hard to forgive yourself for what you did, but no matter how hard you try, you can never forgive yourself for what you did.
how you try so hard to forget, but no matter what you do, the past keeps on coming back to you and bothering you.

the scar left behind, so deep, that it still hurts. so deep, that youre reminded of the past every single time. so deep, that the past keeps on coming back to you and bothering you. so deep, that youre always wondering ‘why? why did you do it?’

right. im not referring to anyone in particular. no, i dunno who im referring to. no actually i KNOW who im referring to but i dunno. no actually i know who im referring to but im not REALLY referring to whom everyone thinks im referring to. okay shut up! i’m just contradicting and confusing myself. i hate it when i start to contradict myself. i'm just making myself more confused. damn. i sound like christopher.

and its sad how when people ask you ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ you have nothing else to say except for ‘dunno’. how everyone else already has dreams and ambitions and they already have a rough idea of what their future will be. they already planned and know what they want to do with their life. while im still here trying to figure out myself and who i really am and just not knowing what to do with your life. everyone is already seeing themselves in the future while im still stuck here in the present still trying to figure out what i want to do with my life. i tried thinking. damnit i really tried. but i just cant seem to know what i really want to do. and while everybody already had plans, youre still thinking ‘whats life after secondary four?’ and ‘what am i going to do after secondary school?’ and all the answers i can think of is I DUNNO I DUNNO I DUNNO. i’m so sick of those two words. they say that i dont have to worry much because one day it will come to me what i want to do. but what if that day doesnt come? then what am i going to do?

DAMNIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU NADIAH?! bleagh. i have no idea why i feel so emo-ish now. pffffffffftttttttss. right. ANYWAY, i think i totally screwed up lit paper as well as malay paper. oh man oh man oh man i’m so dead. aaaah what happens if... aah okay whatever. i just want it to be over. well, im just looking forward to our date with gf on wednesday after the paper(: went out with girlfriend! on friday(: SHASHA! HAHAHAHA. totally the wrong time to be going out la but heck. we really intended to study but HAHA. we went to toy ‘r’ us and sya totally laughed at me when i played the hoola hoop. and she decided to be a mean ass and kept on making fun of me with this toy that totally freaked me out because it was just so disgusting touching it. seriously. the toy felt so... eee when you touch it. it gave me the creeps. and she just made fun of me and disturbing me with it la. THANKS AH. HAHA. oh and we saw alot of things. HAHA there was this black sports bra which was really plain except for this ugly flower exactly in the middle. HAHA amusing. oh and we saw this wallet which was omg damn nice la! and so freaking cool. STRANGER. damn. HAHA.

ooh and i watched MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 ALR! HAHAHA yet again totally the wrong time to be watching movies. damnit la. but anyway, its nice i suppose. my mother bought seven freaking movie tickets from her workplace cause there was an offer or sth so yeah.

today me and syakirah got dismissed freaking early from tuition la. HAHA. oh and i think my tan tock seng foolscap paper is cool okay! they kept on making fun of my tan tock seng foolscap paper. ITS COOL OKAY! HAHA.

HAHA i got this from gayle's blog. WHAT?! I'M BORED!
Take this quiz and find out how girly you are. Put x's beside each thing that's true. Each x that you put is one percent.
[ ] My fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[ ] During the summer pretty much the only shoes I wear are flip flops
[ ] My favorite toy as a child were Barbie (i hated Barbie)
[ ] My favorite color is pink or purple.
[ ] I did Gymnastics.
[ ] I love skirts.
[ ] Hollister is my favorite place to shop.
[ ] Tight(er?) jeans are the only jeans I'll wear.
[x] I love chocolate (who doesn't?!)
[x] I've never had a real job. (duh, i'm only fourteen)
TOTAL: 2


[ ] My hair is straightened. (well used to)
[ ] I have at least 8 myspace pictures.
[ ] I usually go shopping once a week.
[x] I love to hang out at the mall with friends.
[ ] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace.
[ ] I've gone to a tanning salon.
[ ] I've gone to the beach to tan - not to swim. (how BLACK do you want me to be?! or should i say RED. HAHA)
[ ] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes.
[ ] I watch either the OC or Laguna Beach.
[ ] I change my icon weekly.
[ ] I wear a shower cap.
TOTAL: 1

[ ] I would NEVER step foot into Hot Topic
[ ] My cell phone might as well become a part of me.
[ ] I wear mascara everyday.
[ ] I've been or am on a diet. (i simply cant resist the temptation of FOOD! HAHA)
[ ] Bathing suits are adorable
[ ] I don't know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[ ] Big sunglasses are hot.
[ ] I have gotten my nails done every other week.
[ ] I own over 10 purses.
[ ] MTV is my one of my favorite channels.
TOTAL: 0

[ ] All I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys.
[ ] I love to have other girls do my hair.
[ ] I give and receive hugs from all my friends.
[x] I hate bugs, snakes, lizards, spiders.
[ ] Carnivals are so fun!!
[ ] Summer is THE best season. (no not really)
[ ] My swimsuit has 2 pieces.
[ ] I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor.
[ ] Musicians are so hot. (they are?)
[ ] You write me a poem and tell me I'm beautiful and I'm all yours. (HAHH!)
TOTAL: 1


[ ] I am self-conscious.
[ ] I cry often.
[ ] My car smells like vanilla.
[x] My dishes get washed more than once a week.
[ ] I don't do sports.
[x] I HATE to run.
[ ] I squeal when I am surprised or angry.
[ ] I eat dried fruit as a snack.
[ ] I love romance novels.
[ ] Drew Barrymore is so cute.
TOTAL: 2


[ ] I dance a lot.
[ ] I usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house.
[ ] I only have like 5 billion hair products.
[ ] I love to get dressed up.
[x] Every part of my outfit needs to match.
[ ] I talk on the phone at least once a day to a few of my friends.
[ ] I would love to have a photo shoot of myself. (EWW. HAHA!)
[ ] Price on clothes hardly matters.
[ ] I apply lip gloss 50 times a day.
[ ] I wish I were a model.(NO WAY! HAHA)
TOTAL: 1


[ ] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton.
[ ] I have been something that was semi slutty on Halloween.
[ ] I own Uggs.
[ ] Hip Hop is the best music.
[ ] I pop my collar.
[ ] I like to be the center of attention.
[ ] Guys with mohawks are crazy.
[ ] Horses are beautiful.
[x] I'd rather not pay attention in school.
[x] Cats are adorable.
TOTAL: 2

[ ] I write my own music
[x] I would love to visit Hawaii
[ ] Valentine's day is so cute!
[ ] White is better then black
[ ] I wouldn't be caught dead in all black
[x] My closet is STOCK FULL of clothes
[x] I hate the grunge look of a beard
[ ] I love to read gossip magazines
TOTAL: 3


[ ] I love to gossip only true, good kind.
[ ] I had Lisa Frank folders, posters, and other supplies as a kid.
[ ] I love Celine Dion.
[ ] My bubble baths are 2 hr long.
[ ] My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned.
[ ] My friends and I are in a strict group. We mostly only hang out with each other.
[ ] I like kids.
[ ] Diet drinks are the best.
[ ] I'm all about being vegetarian.
[ ] I refuse to eat at McDonalds.
TOTAL: 0


[ ] I check my myspace everyday.
[ ] I LOVE life! (well only SOMETIMES)
[ ] I have a lot of jewelry!
[ ] Claires has cheap jewelry.
[ ] My screen names have x's in them.
[ ] Either one of my myspace names has/had <3/?'s in them.
[ ] I would never want to be the opposite sex. (menstrations are irritating. HAHA)
[x] It's not what he/she said it's the way he/she said it.
[x] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed.
TOTAL: 2

Total Percentage: 14%

OMG SO PATHETIC! HAHAHA.

(11:17 PM)